


The Tale of Aunt Kana

by GivemeanID



Series: The Treaty [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Claiming, Crack, Hatake Customs, Multi, Uchiha Being Weak For The Prettydeadly, implied marriage hunt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:08:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22756063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GivemeanID/pseuds/GivemeanID
Summary: A.K.A That one memorable time Tajima tried to court a Senju and ended up with twoOr How Izuna became a pervert
Relationships: Senju Butsuma/Uchiha Tajima/Original Female Character
Series: The Treaty [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636033
Comments: 26
Kudos: 176





	The Tale of Aunt Kana

**Author's Note:**

> Same universe than The Treaty, but it happens way before and is kinda an AU
> 
> Enabling on this one is on Kittyclaws086 ! Thank you dear :)

Tajima had seen heaven. And he fully intended to make the whole clan suffer through the brunt of his pining, starting with the Elders. Said Elders were currently wondering if they could murder him without suffering any consequences. Finally, Elder Kyo cracked.

\- Okay ! Okay, we get it ! Senju Butsuma has muscles of steel, you want to bury your face between his pectorals and motorboard ! WE GET IT ! Can we get back to the battle report ?!  
\- But this is the battle report ! Tajima screeched.

One of the Elders started to cry.

************

It had happen earlier in the day, during another battle between Uchiha and Senju. Butsuma's shirt had been reduced to ash by a well aimed Katon jutsu, showing off his shoulder and his right arm. It was approximately at this moment that Tajima's brain had stopped functionning correctly, stuck on the following thought : "Oh no, he's hot !!". He had almost been beheaded because Butsuma had used his stillness to attack (which, rude ! you don't attack people when they are busy admiring your wonderful muscles !). The Uchiha had to retreat, but for Tajima, this battle had been more than worth it.

Unfortunately for him, noone in the clan wanted to hear him sing Butsuma Senju's praises. He had gone to the Elders, they had cried and threatened to remove him from his Clan Head position if he didn't shut up this instant (which rude ! he had only describe the way Butsuma's biceps flexed for two little hours !). He had gone to Takahiro, but his brother had only lasted ten minutes before he threatened him of castration with a rusted kunai if he didn't shut up (Tajima hadn't insisted, he valued his manhood). He had tried to go to his children, but Izuna was only five and wouldn't understand, and Madara had disappeared somewhere (mmmh, strange, it happened more and more often, he should investigate).

So, out of desperation, he went to the only person he knew would listen to him : Aunt Kana.

Aunt Kana was an outlier in the Uchiha Clan, and even in the ninja world in general. First, she was ninety-four years old, and had outlived three Clan Head, and seemed to be on her way outlive Tajima too, all of this out of sheer spite. Second, despite her venerable age, her memory was as sharp as ever, and near eideitic. And since she was very very spiteful (something to do about war and people being idiots in general), she spent her days chasing the people she didn't like and recounting to them all the encounters she had with pretty deadly people of various clans in EXCRUCIATING details. The Elders were terrified by Aunt Kana.

But at least, she was willing to listen when you were talking about pretty deadly people and the gigantic crush you might have on them (unlike some traitors he would not name). Which was the exact reason Tajima was now drinking tea with her, and talking about his new obsession : Senju Butsuma's muscles.

\- He is so pretty, Aunty ! You should have seen his arms ! Gah, I feel hot just thinking about them !  
\- Well court him, she groaned.  
\- But how can I do it ?! he wailed.  
\- Easy ! You strip him, you tie him, and then you make your proposal ! That's how I did with my second husband, Kato, the one from from the Inuzuka, and...

Tajima had already stopped listening, busy as he was imagining Butsuma naked and tied up. However, Aunt Kana had launched into the story of how she wedded and bedded her second husband, and Tajima didn't want to listen to it again. Aunt Kana had already inflicted all her marriage stories on him when he had been named Clan Head, and he really didn't want to repeat the experience. So he had very little remorses permutating Izuna in his place as he went to plan on how to strip Butsuma Senju.

He would regret that later, when upon reaching puberty, Izuna would come to find him with very precise questions involving the white-haired son of Butsuma, a bed and a lot of rope.

************

Butsuma was twitchy. A new battle with the Uchiha was about to start and the Senju Clan Head was sweating just thinking about what Tajima Uchiha might do this time. The Uchiha Clan Head had started behaving oddly approximatively two months ago. At first, it had been manageable. Tajima was targeting his armor rather than his person (which was kinda strange, but at least it meant Butsuma could breath). But the Uchiha had become more and more daring with the battles and now, it was a common occurence for Butsuma to leave the battlefield half naked because his rival had reduced his armor and a great part of his clothes to shredds. It was like the Uchiha wanted to strip him rather than kill him. And it wasn't reassuring one bit, because Tajima had a strange look on his face whenever he saw Butsuma, completed with drooling and even sometimes nosebleed. The Senju Clan Head was starting to fear for his virtue.

This battle didn't go against the rule. Butsuma left with his armor in pieces, missing a pant leg and the right half of his shirt. Furthermore, he could clearly affirm that Tajima tried to grope him. Now he was scared.

************

Hashirama really didn't understand why his father was so jittery about the whole thing, basically screaming to the Elders that the Uchiha Clan Head was trying to paw him and had basically been after his virtue for two months now. The Elders were looking at his father like they wondered whether their Clan Head had finally succumbed to paranoia.

One had always told the little boy that it was okay to be naked. After all, the Senju wasn't bodyshy at all. He'd rather thought it was something to do with the fact that it was an Uchiha taking father's clothes. Maybe father had feelings for that Uchiha but he couldn't act upon them because they were at war ? He should ask Tobi. His little brother was smart, he would know.

************

Madara wanted to change his family, please and thank you. Not only his father had to develop a giant crush on the Senju (and therefore speak about him for every minute of the day) but now Izuna was feeding him ideas to strip and tie the Senju. Madara groaned and tried to block the sound. The clan had started a goddamn betting pool.

That was it ! If it didn't stop soon, Madara was gonna go to the Nara and ask for political asylum. Anything to get away from the crazy people that were his family.

************

\- So what do you think Tobi ? Hashirama asked hopefully.  
\- Hum, the little boy considered, rubbing his chin, Indeed this seem likely.  
\- I know it ! Hashirama cheered, what can we do to help him ?  
\- Hum... give me a few days, I need to write a letter to someone who can help.

************

Today was the day ! Today he would finally strip Butsuma bare and tie him up and make his proposal ! Tajima could sense the sweet scent of victory as he cut the second lace keeping Butsuma's armor whole. The protection fell and the Senju swore, now covered only by his pants and his undershirt. He block two hits from Tajima's sword just before the Uchiha lunged, cackling manically, and caught him around the waist. The two men tumbled on the ground, wrestling to get the upper hand.

Around them, the fight had reduced to a minimum. On the Uchiha side, because they were wondering if the betting pool would be won today. On the Senju side, because they were wondering what the fuck was going on. With the notable exception of Hashirama, who was smiling from ear to ear, and Tobirama, who was looking totally elsewhere, apparently busy trailing a chakra signature.

Tajima was exulting. He had managed to roll Butsuma on his back and was now busy tearing down his shrirt despite the Senju protestations. As was finally reaching his goal, the fabric tearing all the way down, a strong hand grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and he found himself lifted in the air like a kitten. He turned to hiss at the intruder and gaped when he came face to face with the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Tall, muscled, with a pale skin and silver white hair and a feral beauty that made a look slightly like a wolf. And damn ! She was strong !

\- Husband, she said to Butsuma.

Tajima squeaked. Husband ?!!! Butsuma had managed to land this goddess ?!!!

\- Setsuko ! What are you doing here ?! You were supposed to be on a mission !  
\- Tobirama sent me a letter saying you wanted to take a Uchiha husband so I came back, she deadpanned.

Tajima looked at the little white-haired Senju, and, yep, he could see the resemblance now. Then Setsuko's words reached his brain.

\- Wait ! he screeched, you want to take me as a husband ?!  
\- I never said that ! Kids, what the fuck ?!  
\- I find this is a good idea, Setsuko said matteroffactly.  
\- Setsu ! Butsuma wailed.

He was surrounded by traitors. First his kids, now his wife.

\- What ? Look at him, husband, he's cute. And obviously smitten with you.

She put Tajima on the ground.

\- Furthermore, it's been a long time since I had a good Hunt.

She smiled, and it made her look eerily threatening. Must have something to do with the fangs. Tajima and Butsuma gulped in concert.

\- So here is what I propose. You're going to run. And I'm going to catch you. Thus, we will be married by the laws of the wolves and this stupid feud will be no more.

She cracked her neck.

\- Run.

They did.

************

Tajima was sprawled on the forest floor, Butsuma on one side, Setsuko on the other. He was feeling sore all over and couldn't felt his legs anymore. But damn, it had been worth it. Setsuko didn't give them a chance. She made them run for hours, and just the moment they thought they had lost her, she had pounced, catching both of them at the same time. What had happened next had been better than anything he could have imagined. He shivered just thinking about him.

He grinned. Okay, not everything had gone according to plan, but he caught his pretty Senju, so that was all that mattered.

************

Ten years later.

Butsuma woke up, smothered under the weight of his two sleeping spouses. He groaned. How did he end up with these two already ? Oh yeah, the Uchiha was crazy and his wife was even more. Sighing, Butsuma dragged a hand down his face, and smiled. It could have been worse. Their two clans were now united in a village, and children were dying no more.

Now, if Izuna could just stop trying to tie Tobirama up, everything would be perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> Fear the Hatake women ^^
> 
> And I love Aunt Kana ;)


End file.
